Not the best of the Cooking and Cuisine of Italy
Troubled Chicken with Headless Porcini Mushrooms
A delicious, demi-filling, rainy February day recipe originally from
a Piedmont little town
totally destroyed by a fire. The recipe survived through the writings of
a fun-loving haircutter
now dead from a rare skin desease. The recipe works best with verbally abused
chickens.
2 verbally abused chickens
1 beer
4 feet of dental floss
3 gallons of seawater
1 pound of porcini stems
2 cups of Italian wine
7 sticks of unsalted butter
1 cherry tomato
Spank the chickens' rear-end until red, to soften the meat. If you like
doing it, please consult your physician. If your physician likes it too,
have a beer. Tie the chickens up with your favorite
mint dental floss to give to the meat that special... mint dental floss
flavor. Fill your bathtub
with the sea water. If you happen to have in your pockets some real seaweed,
drop it in.
If you don't, hey: nobody told you. Place the porcini mushrooms on your
laptop keyboard
and manually discard their heads. Sit on the stems for an hour, to soften
their pulp. If you're
uncomfortable, wear jeans or consult your physician. Drop the chickens and
the porcini stems
into the water. The latter should float because of their weight. Add the
Italian wine and let the
whole thing marinate for a couple of days. Melt the butter in a saucepan
and let it sit until it gets
hard again. Do it a few times and see the slight changes in the color and
consistency. Cut it into
shapeless pieces and place it on your serving dish. I like to serve the
"Troubled Chicken" in a
handpainted dish that I found in a garage sale in Venice right before my
neighbour had a stroke.
Get your mushroom stems out of the bathtub, together with the chickens.
Boy, they look soft!
Well, I guess I would look soft too after two days in the bathtub... Place
with no particular order
the chicken and the stems on the plate. Eat the cherry tomato and serve
your "Pollo nervoso con
Porcini senza testa" with a young troubled California wine. Serves
up to five relatives.
If it doesn't taste good, remember: it's not your fault: it's genetics...
Warning: Do NOT try to prepare this recipe -
any incident which might occur to you in trying
to cook this dish will mean a) you're dumb and b) Giovanni declines any
responsibility
Coming up soon:
Piedi di gabbiano con insalatina di piedi di gabbiano e patate "al
sole"
Seagull feet with warm seagull feet salad and sun dried potatoes
Stufato di pesce e banane ai 960 spicchi d'aglio
Fish and banana stew with more than 960 garlic cloves
Frittata sorpresa ripiena di pane bagnato e cavallucci marini
Surprise omelette stuffed with wet bread and seahorses
Copyright 1996 Giovanni's Crazy Recipes
Giovanni, a very busy Italian man
Born in Milan, Italy in 1963 from his mother and the son-in-law of a friend
of his uncle,
Giovanni spent most of his young life playing with kitchen toys and industrial
ovens.
In his teens he was already a very busy Italian man, but after all, who
isn't? After graduating
he got a job as a Niagara Falls air controller and later in the week as
cruise ship latin lover.
At 27 he discovered the effect of raw eggs on the elderly and stop dating
erderly women.
How to have Giovanni's recipes...
Giovanni can provide any of you Italian food lovers with his own recipes
and menus for
special occasions. You can have him deliver them to you every week on your
screen or
e-mail for just $5.99 a year. Let me repeat that: you can have Giovanni's
Crazy recipies
delivered to you all year long for just $5.99 a year. That's correct: all
those goodies for
just a mere $5.99 a year! Send a check for $5.99 to:
Giovanni
P.O. Box 21169
Oakland, CA 94620
Write
Giovanni even if he's very busy
Copyright 1996, Giovanni Fontana - Last updated, February 5, 1996
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